Point-by-Point: May - 8/10

May is a lonely girl. She meets a few people, but they find her creepy. She proves them totally right. 

The Good:  For a fairly small horror movie, the acting is outstanding. Angela Bettis is pretty much perfect as May, which is important because the movie could have easily fallen apart if her performance was even a little bit off. She makes you feel for May, even when she's being horrible. I also have a soft spot for Anna Faris (The House Bunny is far funnier than I would have imagined). Also, credit to the director - it's not easy to combine all of the emotional responses he was going for without it being a muddy train wreck, but he goes effortlessly between black comedy, psychological drama and horror. 

The Bad: Because of previously mentioned blending of genres, the pacing is a bit strange. I didn't have many problems with it, but someone hoping for a thrill-a-minute horror film will probably be bored towards the middle of this. 

The Ugly: Of the all gore in movies, violence of the ocular variety is by far the worst. This movie is a horrible offender.

Points Pondered

-My wife informed me that if the cat ever died while she was away, I should put it in the freezer. No.

-I appreciate that everyone treats May realistically - try to be friendly, see that she's kind of cute and quirky and want to hang out, then realize that she's actually crazy and slowly back away. Most people will take weirdness in stride until it gets to dangerous-weird.

-Has there ever been a non-creepy doll? 

-It's a bit odd - Jeremy Sisto looks to have aged a lot since this movie came out, and Anna Faris basically looks the same.  

Point-by-Point: 13 Assassins - 8/10

A group of 13 samurai are sent to assassinate a brutal lord before he can grab any more power. Yet another well-titled movie.

The Good: For the most part, Takashi Miike tones down his usual cavalcade of brutality and that lets his ability as a director to shine through. The battle sequence is long yet amazing and well-shot, and avoids devolving into random guys hitting other random guys. Of course, he still puts in a few visceral scenes, but they are all the more effective when not surround by more of the same.

The Bad: Even though the story is well-told, it's fairly rote. Also, a number of the 13 aren't fleshed out very well, leading you to figure that they'll just be fodder when the time comes.

The Ugly: The variety of scenes used to paint a monstrous picture of our bad guy is about as ugly as it gets. Of course, by the end of it, you're totally on the side of the assassins, which is the point.

Points Pondered

-I knew this wasn't the average Miike film when a guy commits seppuku and you don't actually see him stick and knife in and watch his guts fall out.

-Setting this at the end of the samurai era definitely makes it more believable that a handful of well-trained men could pose a threat to a small army of amost-ceremonial samurai.

-The interplay between the leader of the 13 and the general of the enemy army was well done. It could have become one of a number of clichés, and avoiding them made the story stronger.

-Reading the description of the uncut version, they definitely made some wise choices for an international audience. Usually changes are made to dumb down films for a wider market, but here they eliminated a lot of silly scenes and weirdness that would have felt out of place. 

Point-by-Point: The Man From Nowhere - 8/10

A pawn shop owner befriends a young girl, who is then abducted. He objects, and decides to hurt everyone he meets until he finds her. It's a solid mix of Leon: The Professional and Taken.

The Good: Pretty much everything here is good. The acting from our hero and the little girl seriously impressed me, and the action sequences were stylish and brutal. In general, the story is well told and I really found myself pulling for the guy, even as he was beating up cops and stabbing gang members repeatedly.

The Bad: The movie could afford to cut down a little on the melodrama, but it wasn't awful. The only things truly bad were the comic relief characters, which seem to be required in Asian films, no matter how out of place.

The Ugly: Despite several savage fight scenes, the child-organ-harvesting ring wins.

Points Pondered  

-I can't imagine business is very good at his pawn shop. It seems a bit out of the way, and he exudes "you don't want to talk to me."

-I really like the build of not showing him commit any violence in person for the first half of the movie or so - all we get to see is the resulting carnage he creates.

-Our guy runs down a hallway, jumps through a window, smashes the glass, hits the ground a story below, rolls and keeps running - the camera follows him THE ENTIRE WAY. Not quite sure the specific way they did it, but it's awesome. 

-He definitely looked a lot more suspicious when he put a hat on to hide from the police. Really, anyone wearing a suit and a baseball hat is going to seem a bit odd.

-Yes, the knife fight at the end is truly cool. Cutting out the soundtrack during the scene is a nice touch.

Point-by-Point: Tell No One - 8/10

A man who was suspected of killing his wife 8 years ago finds himself having a really crappy week when two bodies are dug up near where his wife was attacked. A bear-dog, hitmen, and an impromptu game of real-life frogger are all involved. 

The Good: This is a classic thriller, with a really well contained setting and plot. Pretty much every character makes understandable decisions, which speaks to how well this was written. It's got a nice look to it and all the actors deliver solid performances. 

The Bad: The ending drags a little, but it's a problem that a fair number of thrillers have. There's no great way to have someone do the big reveal at the end and tie all the strings together quickly and interestingly. This film does a decent job, and avoids the "Villain gloats and tells his entire plan while holding the hero at gunpoint" thing. Still, definitely a flaw.

The Ugly: Now, my wife disagrees, but that was a seriously dopey dog. 

Points Pondered

-Our main hero sure spends a lot of time with his sister's wife. That, combined with early (intentional?) misdirection as to his relationship with her had me confused about a potential incestuous threesome.

-Based purely on watching european movies, all thugs play FIFA video games.

-There's a lot more intrigue in the horse-jumping world than I would have guessed. 

-This film had a surprising lack of loose ends. On multiple occasions I found myself thinking "but what about . . . " and the movie would inevitably have an answer. 

Haiku: Slither 8/10

Worms bore into brains
Folks change into Zombies/nests
A gooey delight

Haiku: Let it Ride 8/10

Day at the races
goes from good to amazing
I laugh at addicts

Haiku: Juno 8/10

That Michael Cena
Likes them sassy and pregnant.
Must have burger phone.

Haiku: Galaxy Quest 8/10

By Grabthar's hammer,
Must be one hell of a movie -
Tim Allen not bad?!?

Point by Point: The Mist 8/10

A strange fog rolls into town, trapping a group of eclectic characters that are sure to have all sorts of interesting conflicts. Luckily for them, The Punisher is trapped with them so there's at least SOMEONE that knows how to handle the tentacly monsters lurking in . . . The Mist!!!

The Good: A good story told well. The intensity never dies, with the last 30 minutes turning it up to 11. The story brings up some interesting ideas about what makes a true monster.
The Bad: Marcia Gay Harden as a crazy über-Christian rubbed me the wrong way. This is of course the point, but she's still grating. The story can get a bit dialog-heavy and is admittedly a cookie-cutter horror movie in many ways. Nothing ever drops below the "competent" line, however.
The Ugly: The feeling you get in your stomach as you watch the credits roll. Wishing to unsee things never really works.

Points Pondered

• If you have all your monsters shrouded in mist, you can have fairly cheap special effects while still being highly creepy.


• Cheap movie trick #2: Shoot all your action in one main set that you have complete control of in re: lights and sound. Location shooting equals time and money spent.


• NEVER trust secret Army projects. Although the idea that they could keep any of it a secret for very long while employing local soldiers as guards seems unlikely.


• [AMF: after adopting the moniker "heartstricken.moose", from a line in Moby Dick, I realized that I had no real idea what a heartstricken moose would sound like. I think Thomas Jane has given me my answer. He nails it.]

Haiku: Hot Fuzz 8/10

Let's jump whilst shooting
to show our love of action
and hate of small towns

Haiku: Akira 8/10

An 80s cartoon
Is still ultra cool today
No, not Transformers

Haiku: Reefer Madness 8/10

Light-hearted singing
tries to disguise the horror
of smoking dope. Dude.

Haiku: Underworld 8/10

Vampires v. Werewolves
Cool, but it doesn't stop there -
One word: Were-Vampire.

Haiku: George of the Jungle 8/10

A perfect combo
of slapstick, smarts and cuteness
So many great lines

Haiku: Dan in Real Life 8/10

Superb chemistry
Makes a passable rom-com
Something amazing

Haiku: Virgin Suicides 8/10

Five sheltered sisters
One of them had "relations"
And then there were none

Point-by-Point: Forbidden Kingdom 6/10

A teenager finds himself transported to a mystic land (which looks a lot like China) where he must restore the power of the Monkey King, the only person who can stop the Jade Warlord. Will he learn the ways of the warrior on his quest, or just be more careful about where he buys his drugs?

The Good: If you have Jackie Chan, Jet Li and Woo Ping working on your movie, you will have fun fight sequences.
The Bad: The whole frame story seemed a bit "after school special." Say no to peer pressure children. Unless those peers are armed felons.
The Ugly: I really didn't need to see Jet Li pee in Jackie Chan's face. Yes, it happened.

Points Pondered

• I'm pretty sure this movie actually starred Shia LaBeouf, but the credits say it was Michael Angarano. I'm theorizing that they're the same person, while Ann theorizes I'm an idiot. [AMF: "idiot" is perhaps the wrong word. "Conspiracy theorist" is more apt. Some people see government plots, some people see dead people, Paul just sees Shia. Everywhere.]


• Lots of pretty girls and no romance equals a filmmaker who is willing to throw away the crutch of teenage love/lust and focus on actual story. Either that or he is cursed with an inability to love and refuses to write about it for fear that his secret will be apparent.


• It's great to see Jackie Chan doing drunken fist. He's just a superb comedic actor.


• If you had to learn how to kick ass in the shortest amount of time, hanging with Jackie Chan and Jet Li would probably be in the top ten of possible plans.