Haiku: Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World 10/10

Jane Austen for boys:
A captain/surgeon bro-mance
Look! An albatross!

Haiku: Slither 8/10

Worms bore into brains
Folks change into Zombies/nests
A gooey delight

Haiku: Let it Ride 8/10

Day at the races
goes from good to amazing
I laugh at addicts

Haiku: Sleepy Hollow 7/10

LOTS of severed heads
turn horror to comedy
with each bloody thwack

Mission to Mars 5/10

Overlong and dull
but interesting actors.
Needs more chestbursters.

Haiku: Night of the Creeps 2/10

Worst of 80s horror
and teen comedy combined
Why do I hate me?

Haiku: Invasion of the Body Snatchers 7/10

PG-rated romp
Where your parents are pod folk.
Yay for nightmare fuel!

Haiku: Judge Dredd 4/10

Sly looking stoic
and yelling "I AM THE LAW!!!"
What, no Oscar nod?

Haiku: Juno 8/10

That Michael Cena
Likes them sassy and pregnant.
Must have burger phone.

Haiku: Finding Nemo 7/10

Gasp! Nemo is lost!
Time to go adventuring!
LUUUUUUCCKKYYYYY IIIIIIII SPEEEEAAAAAKKK WHAAAAAAALEEE

Haiku: Lethal Weapon 4 5/10

Lame plot goes too far -
No way Jet Li is beaten
by two old-fart cops

Haiku: Galaxy Quest 8/10

By Grabthar's hammer,
Must be one hell of a movie -
Tim Allen not bad?!?

Haiku: EdTV 6/10

An over the top
poke at our silly culture.
Bravo would air it.

Haiku: Transformers 5/10

Robots in Disguise
As a dumb, flashy, train wreck.
I hate you, Shia.

Haiku: Hot Fuzz 8/10

Let's jump whilst shooting
to show our love of action
and hate of small towns

Haiku: Akira 8/10

An 80s cartoon
Is still ultra cool today
No, not Transformers

Haiku: Reefer Madness 8/10

Light-hearted singing
tries to disguise the horror
of smoking dope. Dude.

Haiku: Underworld 8/10

Vampires v. Werewolves
Cool, but it doesn't stop there -
One word: Were-Vampire.

Haiku: George of the Jungle 8/10

A perfect combo
of slapstick, smarts and cuteness
So many great lines

Haiku: Top Gun 6/10

Maverick takes no guff
He's a dog-fighting Viper
Til his Goose is cooked