It must be hard to make a movie with no style and no originality whatsoever. You have 2+ hours to fill -- to cut out every bit of creativity has got to either take work or a seriously brainwashed crew. Or else it’s one big postmodern meta-joke on summer blockbuster audiences. For my own sanity and in order to keep my respect for a lot of the people involved, I’m going with the latter. The Incredible Hulk wasn’t a thuddingly dull color-by-number! It’s a hilarious exercise in the psychoanalytic of the archetypal Action Film!
Oh wait. It was just a bad movie. There’s a reason Edward Norton (who is by no means a dumb guy) is disowning it -- it is a flagrant misuse of a talented cast and a waste of a rather interesting set-up. In fact, it’s almost impressive how precisely every point of progression does nothing but advance the plot -- the only reason we learn anything at all about these characters is so that it can become significant in the next scene. The majority, if not the entirety of the script relies on the fact that we already know the story. Backstory? Psh -- need-to-know basis only. Character development? Unless you count one god-awful aborted sex scene: nonexistent. Reasons why we should care at all? Well, I’m a sucker for Edward Norton, well, being Edward Norton, and it’s fun to see Tim Roth play bad (his sneer is amazing)... but other than that, it’s a draw.
But perhaps I am biased, due to the fact that really, I’d already seen The Incredible Hulk at least five times. Dear readers, I’ll give you a little hint: if you’ve seen the ad, you’ve seen the movie. Seriously. The entire 2 hour story is (with the exception of one minor plot point) summed up in a few minutes of trailer. Yea, the fight scenes are longer; yea, there’s more talking/yelling/whining in between said battles; but, really, there’s not a lot more to the movie. Any attempt at suspense, at surprise, at being sinister is entirely ruined by the fact that *gasp* this looks dang familiar. One fight scene in a factory is especially ludicrous, considering the fact that we already know what the Hulk looks like. The final show-down between the Abomination and the Hulk, as well, is... well, you’ve seen it. The feature-length version is just longer, louder, and a lot more boring.
Don’t get me wrong -- I like action movies. I like big ba-da-boom spectacles when they’re well done. I love Marvel comics. I am smitten with Edward Norton. This should have been a diverting and fun 2 hours of my life, and yet the high point of the entire movie was a surprise cameo by everyone’s favorite smug Marvel millionaire Tony Stark -- Robert Downey Jr., slumming over from his own infinitely better comic adaptation. Maybe that’s what bothered me, actually! Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk both have good pedigrees and should have made a damn fun tag-team at the box-office. One succeeded in grand style, with intelligence and panache; one drowned in lugubriousness. Guess which one is which. The Ang Lee version of Hulk actually does not make a bad companion to Iron Man -- cerebral and stylish (although much darker) -- but this new by-the-numbers exercise in bombast is just a hulking mess.
Save yourself 2 hours and $10 -- watch the trailer for The Incredible Hulk. Skip the movie.
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